Saturday, May 14, 2011

ずっとずっと.

i'd always wanted to be like you.
it's not difficult at all for me to do things that you love to do.
because by doing so we'd be able to spend time together.
we'd have a lot to talk about in common.

reading manga, watching anime, playing online games,
practicing aikido and meditation, go bowling, taking course on english and math.
in every little thing i did,
i never missed 'seeing you' as the main reason to be taken into consideration.

it's passed over years and
i had pretty much grown to be like you.
i did anything to prove that i'm worth enough to be yours.
or so i thought.

"can't you see that i'm the one who suits you the most?"
is what i used to tell you all the time.

looking back now, i was being so silly.
as i see our paths are far more apart,
i had no longer been following you.
i don't take you as a direction anymore.

yet still...
noticing your growth of perfection drives me mad.
is it jealousy? is it rivalry? is it a willing to surpass?
or is it the same old crave to be seen by you?

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